I guess I have had some pent up anger. The more post I write the better I feel. I thought I had gotten to a place of peace and forgiveness, but I was wrong! I'm mad as a muthafucka!!!!! At moments I am so mad I can feel the heat coming from my face. I almost fell for the "it was all just a misunderstanding." Then I went back and read the text messages and emails and was instantly snapped back into reality. I cried,I screamed,I cussed.... a lot but didn't feel better. So I decided to bite the bullet and tell him just how shitty he had made me feel, that it's not alright to treat people this way. So I prepared myself for this conversation, I listened to all the "fuck you I'm good" R&B songs I could download. I read and re-read emails and text messages. I listened to voice mails, looked at old pictures, and had one more big cry. I was ready! It started off great,I was in total control stating just the facts. I made clear points with supporting facts. This conversation would have been a great thesis paper! Then it happened,he sighed and said "I did love you. I still do love you." Wait! What?! My mind imploded! BOOM! What was my next point? Why was I so mad? How could I stay mad? He did say he didn't mean to hurt me. FUUCCKK! He had pulled me back in. Damn it. There I sat on my bed ready to forgive and forget....again. How did he have such power over me? My intentions where to put the final nails in coffin of our so called relationship. I hung up the phone knowing I was going to still answer his calls and text like a dummy. I put in Purple Rain and got ready to have a good cry when my phone went off. Oooohhhh! That's when I knew I would be alright after all...
Love it,Live it,Rock it
Danni
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