Ain't this a bitch!!!

Well,well,well....I have reached my point. Which point? My breaking point!!! I am the nicest most caring, helpful person until you cross me. I am all about giving people chances,but this person has officially used them all up. I can always admit my mistakes but I refuse to take responsibility for this cluster fuck. Especially when I didn't create this whole ugly scenario. I get it. They must be one of "those people",you know "those people." The one's who get mad first when they mess up. The one's who never actually answer your questions. The one's who wait for you to get mad and end things instead of being real with you. I loath "those people". They usually don't address any real problem in their life. Just ignore it or double talk it to death! Well enough is enough. Your wish is granted. I drew a line in the sand you crossed it then danced on it. So this chick.  *waves hands* Yeah me! Has reached her "I don't give two flying fucks point"! Congratulations.
I swear people. Immature,mature I don't do labels...I wanted to throw my phone. Really. I kinda wanna take my suv and monster truck drive it over your car! You don't have to be in it,if your where that would be a bonus!  Sorry. Writing is my therapy people and this is just a peak into all the craziness that is my life. Blaaaah

Love it, Live it, Rock it
Danni

I know you see me!

Soooo..... guess what! I have a stalker. No I'm not worried at all. I think it's kinda cute. The how and why,well let's just say my awesomely bad romance left some unwanted debris. I am somewhat baffled by it! Why worry about me? Why  constantly stay on my Twitter and Instagram if you hate me? I dunno either people. The crazy part is that they let me know they are looking at it! I'm sure they would check out my FB but it's super private. I keep that off limits because of family and real personal stuff,sorry. Maybe they secretly want to be me. Maybe my life is so interesting that instead of just observing they actually wanna be a part of it. Whatever the reason I welcome them! Look I dedicated a whole blog to y'all. Hope you liked it.*blows kiss and waves *

Love it, Live it, Rock it
Danni

I Rock the shit out of Motherhood!

Okay, okay I have been a little doom and gloom lately but "ces't la vie", that's life. Anywho. I wanna talk about something I love....I love being a mom! If you would have asked me about kids like 12 years ago I would have told you "Hell No! I don't want any." Now, well I'm good! I love the fact that you have this little person of your very one to teach,love and screw up with your own personal brand of crazy. I never saw myself as a mom and never ever a stay-at-home mom. The thought of kid shows and play dates made me wanna cry but I realized there is no right or wrong way to do this. So I rocked it Danni style! I rocked the shit out of motherhood! And as time went on I got more comfortable and sure of myself. I've pushed strollers in platform blue leopard print shoes. Had facial piercings ripped out by little hands. Chased a child down in 6 inch heels. Bumped my music while little ones watched Shrek in the backseat with head phones on. I've pulled cheetos out of my cleavage while on the way to a party. I even got a tattoo with a permanent marker to match my real tattoo....by a 3 year old! I loved every minute of it!! I grew up with a very unquie father who exposed me to all kinds of things. Music,religion, cultures, foods and I am raising my kids the same way,to find beauty were others say there is none. To not except everything that is presented to them,to find their own truth. To not just live life but to experience it. To love, to lose, to laugh, to cry, to express themselves! I feel like if I can raise a free thinker I have done this world, this universe a great service. Kids Rock and Rock with them!

Love it, Live it, Rock it
Danni

Tell me lies,tell me sweet little lies.

We all do it. Lie. Small lies. Big ass lies. No matter the size,a lie is a lie. But here's the interesting thing about being a human. We can choose to except a lie or overlook it. Recently I have chosen,of my own free will,to except a couple of lies. Now I know how that may sound,but if I chose to live a lie doesn't that actually become my truth. NO! It doesn't!  Some of y'all were like, "hey! She's on to something! ". Sadly for some people a lie does become their truth. And that lie of a truth will one day be exposed as an actual lie. A false statement on which you have built a world on. I have said all of that to say this: I chose to except a lie because it was they only way my heart could processes the reality of hurt. Will I still have to processes it, yes eventually. My lie was telling myself that this betrayal wasn't as bad as I thought. When in fact it was worse. My truth,well my truth is that love is not a word I say just to say it. My truth is that I still love you.  My truth is that I am not an option. My truth is that my desire for you can not be snuffed out. My truth however was built on your lie. And that lie just crumbled. Sorry if it was a bit much folks but sometimes you have to write it out. We get deep in the 'burbs!! Everybody goes through a time in their life when they wish they could go back and do a quick rewrite,a do over. This is my mental do over.

Love it, Live it, Rock it
Danni

Every time I think I'm out....he pulls me back in! FUUUUCCCKKK

I guess I have had some pent up anger. The more post I write the better I feel. I thought I had gotten to a place of peace and forgiveness, but I was wrong! I'm mad as a muthafucka!!!!! At moments I am so mad I can feel the heat coming from my face. I almost fell for the "it was all just a misunderstanding." Then I went back and read the text messages and emails and was instantly snapped back into reality. I cried,I screamed,I cussed.... a lot but didn't feel better. So I decided to bite the bullet and tell him just how shitty he had made me feel, that it's not alright to treat people this way. So I prepared myself for this conversation, I listened to all the "fuck you I'm good" R&B songs I could download. I read and re-read emails and text messages. I listened to voice mails, looked at old pictures, and had one more big cry. I was ready! It started off great,I was in total control stating just the facts. I made clear points with supporting facts. This conversation would have been a great thesis paper! Then it happened,he sighed and said "I did love you. I still do love you." Wait! What?! My mind imploded! BOOM! What was my next point? Why was I so mad? How could I stay mad? He did say he didn't mean to hurt me. FUUCCKK! He had pulled me back in. Damn it. There I sat on my bed ready to forgive and forget....again. How did he have such power over me? My intentions where to put the final nails in coffin of our so called relationship. I hung up the phone knowing I was going to still answer his calls and text like a dummy. I put in Purple Rain and got ready to have a good cry when my phone went off. Oooohhhh!  That's when I knew I would be alright after all...

Love it,Live it,Rock it
Danni